


Perfect Coils

by Iwouldwrite1000fics



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Genderfluid Crowley (Good Omens), Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Other, Pregnancy, Snake Crowley (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:34:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22646485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iwouldwrite1000fics/pseuds/Iwouldwrite1000fics
Summary: Legend tells of a great mother snake.  The one from whose belly all other snakes were born.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Kudos: 81





	Perfect Coils

**Author's Note:**

> A fill for the Tadfield Advisor Prompt Meme that incorporates my headcanon that Crowley’s snake form is female, because in most species of snake the females are bigger than the males and Crowley is a very large snake. So the pronouns will be switching over the course of the story.

Legend tells of a great mother snake. The one from whose belly all other snakes were born. Often confused with the serpent of Eden, but for our purposes they are in fact one and the same. For before Eden, before the apple, before asking an angel about the flaming sword they no longer carried she had coiled herself up and birthed a clutch that had spread out and diversified across the Earth. 

It happened a second time after the flood. While tending to the children she had saved she had given birth, likely because so many others on the ark were too. The eggs had hatched by the time the deluge had passed and wanting everyone to be safe she had sent the children off with her snake-lets for protection. They grew up as all children do and established themselves, and generations on their descendants got a tattoo of a black serpent with a red under belly inked on their wrists when coming of age to honour her.

***

The third time it happened was after the apocalypse, or rather the averting of the apocalypse. Even though nothing had truly ended the biological urge to re-populate had awoken none the less. So as spring arrived in England the birds and the bees weren’t the only ones coveting new life. 

For the moment though the birds and the bees were being scared away by paintball fire as the local school children were having a tournament. An angel and a demon had been invited to watch the proceedings, but at the moment the demon had wandered off in search of a vending machine.

Said search involved loudly kicking in a door and that brought the founder and CEO swiftly up the hallway.

“Sir, the interior building is not- oh saints and demons preserve us it’s Master Crowley.”

Not having the weight of the world on his shoulders this time Crowley turned to her with a bright smile.

“Former sister Mary, I love what you’ve done with the place. Controlled chaos and permanently staining clothing. It’s inspiring really.”

Mary felt her cheeks warm and her heart rate slow down. “Thank you. Umm what brings you back here?”

“I was invited by one the rustic lads currently repainting the bushes,” he said, looking out at the grounds as a familiar mop of hair trying to escape its helmet ran past.

“I was right you know.”

Crowley tilted his head in question.

“He does look like his dad.”

Just then another group of kids came racing down the corridor and plowed into them.

“No, running indoors!” Mary yelled at them.

The children ran off without a word of apology and Crowley just stared after them fondly as he straightened his jacket.

“I am so sorry,” she said, brushing non-existent dirt off said jacket.

Crowley just shrugged completely unbothered. “Kids will be kids.”

Mary rolled her eyes and didn’t mention that she’d seen plenty of adults who did it too. It was then she noticed his glasses had slipped down just a bit, revealing eyes that were soft and warm. An expression she recognized from her sister just last summer.

Mary gasped. “Oh…Oh, Master Crowley, congratulations.”

Crowley smiled. “Well thank you.”

“Crowley, there you are.”

They both looked over as Aziraphale approached them.

“Well I’ll let you get back to work, and again good work it is.”

He and Aziraphale headed down the hallway when Mary called out them.

“Master Crowley, if you need anything at all my qualifications are still up to date.”

“I’ll keep that in mind thank you.”

Aziraphale looked between them in confusion. Wondering why Crowley was suddenly so chummy and why she offered to help with…something.

“What was that all about?”

“Hmm? Oh nothing, lunch, Angel?”

***

The following day found Crowley in his sun room, forgoing the usual routine of misting the plants, yelling at them, and then misting some more in favour of misting slowly and planning out the perfect spot to put the hatchery.

“Sun’s gonna be too bright,” he declared, wondering if could scare the plants into growing their leaves big enough in time.

Before he could even think about working up a rant there was a knock on the door. Twirling the mister in his hand he went to answer it. At the door was a rather nervous looking angel.

“Hey, Aziraphale, wasn’t expecting to see you so soon.”

“Yes, well I just, just thought I’d stop by. I’m not interrupting anything am I?”

“No, just watering the plants you can come in if you like I’ve got wine somewhere.”

They went into the kitchen and Crowley indeed pulled out a bottle, but rather than pouring it out as usual he left it on the counter with a single glass, and went back to staring at the sun room mulling over details in his head.

“Crowley?”

“Hmm?”

“Is everything all right?”

“Of course, why would something be wrong?”

“It’s just yesterday that lady…I mean the last time we were there you were so quick to act when she recognized you and now well she’s congratulating you as if she knew what was going on!” 

Crowley wasn’t really sure how to respond to that. Women just know these things really. So he settled for muttering syllables that didn’t actually form a coherent sentence instead.

“And she offered to help you.”

“I won’t need it if that’s what you’re worried about.”

It wasn’t, but Aziraphale nodded anyway.

“And you seem very…distracted.”

“Sorry, Angel, just thinking about where I want to put things you know this was so much easier when the world had less…stuff in it.”

Now that was interesting. “You’ve done this before?” Aziraphale asked.

“Oh, sure this’ll be the third time. Maybe if I knock out one wall it’ll be big enough,” he muttered the last part absently to himself.

Aziraphale frowned. Crowley was clearly planning something, but what?

“Sorry again you’re right I’m distracted been a long time since I’ve done this.” he chuckled, “and not like you can just take this one for me eh?”

“No, no I suppose not.”

Helping one another out with blessings and temptations that was all for reports and they didn’t do that anymore.

Crowley at last looked over to where Aziraphale sat deep in thought and he hadn’t even touched the wine. He was clearing ignoring his angel and that would never do.

“You know enough about this, how about we go to dinner hmm?”

Aziraphale smiled. Dinner yes something normal he could deal with that.

“I’d like that.”

***

“Crowley, really.”

“Wot?”

While normally Aziraphale would be thrilled that Crowley was eating with him rather than drinking coffee and snacking on breadsticks now he was dismayed at his choice of meal.

“This is worse than yesterday.”

“Suppose it is a bit much,” Crowley mumbled, looking at the two orders of steak drowning in mole sauce he’d ordered along with every side available on the menu.

“Strawberry sauce on a burger is too much this is madness.”

Crowley shrugged. “Cravings you know well I guess you wouldn’t know. Unless do you know? Am I the only one of the lot who does this? Think I am biology and all that.” 

Aziraphale was looking at him in utter confusion and for moment Crowley had a thought that maybe he really didn’t know what was going on.

“I’m gonna be a father!”

The shout startled both of them and they looked over to where a man had stood up at his table and was hugging, presumably, his wife. Other patrons in the restaurant applauded. The staff got them a dessert on the house and by the time the father to be was done shaking hands with everyone he could and handing out chocolate cigars the moment had passed.

Dinner continued on and though Aziraphale tried to keep the conversation light it was hard as he watched Crowley finish every morsel of food and then lean back in satisfaction, his stomach practically bulging out from his shirt. He hadn’t had any wine at dinner either and that had never happened since their first meal back in Rome. It was all so unlike him. 

“Crowley, my dear fellow, are you certain nothing’s wrong?”

“I’m sure, Angel, really this always just takes a lot out of me that’s all.”

Yes Aziraphale recalled he’d said he’d done this before. Maybe he could avert it then in some way if they remained close together.

“Well perhaps I could watch over you then. Just to make sure you’re not doing anything…demonic.”

Crowley wanted to be offended, but then a thought occurred to him. The bookshop had narrower windows than his flat. He could set up a spot that would have a hot and cool side. He wouldn’t have to demo anything and, though he would never admit it to Aziraphale, he found the bookshop relaxing. It would be perfect to keep his stress levels down for the little ones. 

“You really want to?” he asked, just a bit nervous, he’d never involved anyone in this before after all.

“Yes, yes I do.”

“All right then. I’ll need the back wall of your office sun’s going to be perfect there.”

“O-of course.”

***

Aziraphale wasn’t sure what he expected Crowley to do when he agreed to help, but this certainly wasn’t it. The back wall of his office had been cleared off for a large tank that had been filled with caves, vegetation, and its humidity and temperature were closely monitored. Aziraphale had wondered if Crowley was expecting something to be delivered, just as the antichrist had been, but instead Crowley had claimed the tank for himself. He was in there now perfectly coiled atop the heat rock, scales as midnight black as they’d ever been. 

He hadn’t spoken a word in over a week and Aziraphale had no idea what was going on. The most he had managed to gather was that the behaviour of curling around a heat source was often associated with gravid snakes and that was clearly not what was going on here, why in heaven’s name would it? 

He was pulled out of his thoughts as the bell over the door rang and a woman came in.

“I’m so sorry we’re just about to close up.”

“Yes I read the sign. I’m not here to buy anything though I’m an architect and people have told me this building is the oldest one on the block. I’d just like to take some pictures if that’s all right?”

“Oh, well certainly.”

As she took her pictures Aziraphale flipped the open sign to closed and began collecting together papers on his desk, and she moved further back into the shop.

“Oh, my.”

Aziraphale rushed back to her and found her staring at Crowley.

“Yes, they’re quite large I know-”

“Gorgeous,” she said, in all her years she never thought she’d be lucky enough to catch a glimpse of their mother.

“May I?” she asked, and held up her camera.

“I don’t know, may she, Crowley?”

The serpent tilted their head to allow a better view.

“Thank you so much.”

She took a few shots and then approached the tank, and Crowley responded. Moving their upper body to rest against the top of the tank.

“Don’t worry, my child, everything will be all right.”

Most humans would have freaked out at the sight of a talking snake, but instead the woman felt the tension in her shoulders ease. She hadn’t had faith that she would be any good at her upcoming role, but to receive assurance from the mother of their clan. It was a good omen.

Aziraphale certainly wasn’t taking it as such as he watched the exchange. He had seen the snake tattoo on the woman’s wrist. He’d thought nothing of it until now, now he wondered if this was it, whatever it was.

Nothing more was said though she merely stepped back and Crowley coiled back atop the rock.

“Thank you, both of you. I won’t disturb her further you can tell she’s guarding a very precious secret.”

“Yes, secret,” Aziraphale muttered.

She smiled and pressed a hand to her slightly rounded abdomen.

“It’s the look every woman gets when she knows she’s going to be a mother.”

The woman thanked him again and left the shop. 

Aziraphale turned towards the tank, mouth agape and eyes wide with shock.

“A what?!”

“You know, Angel, from the old English modor, a bearer, a nurturer-”

“I know what it is, but I’ve never associated the word with you!”

“Not even with Warlock?”

Well Aziraphale thought Crowley had been quite…affectionate with the lad even though it wasn’t strictly necessary given their duties.

“Nurturing perhaps, but not-not a real-I mean really!”

“Surely you’ve read the legends the immortal mother who gave rise to all the other serpents.”

“Of course I have, but we both know that legends the humans have developed have either no basis in facts or are completely distorted from actual events. I mean it's you can't...”

“You really didn’t know this was happening did you?”

Aziraphale shook his head.

“Sorry, Angel, I really thought you did. I’d forgotten that you’d left by the time I laid them last time.”

“When was the last time, Crowley?”

“On the ark I gave birth just like everything else did.” 

“That’s all you’re doing, Crowley? There’s no plan, no…well no evil deeds?”

“No, whatever gave you that idea?” 

“But that woman who was just here you talked to her.”

“Coincidence that’s all. Those kids I brought with me on the ark needed to be kept safe so I sent my children with them. You saw that tattoo on that her wrist?”

“Yes.”

“I’ve checked up on the tribe every century or so. They give those tattoos when their little ones grow up.”

“You mean, but she-she can’t be after all these years she’s…”

“A descendant of them yup my step-children really.”

Aziraphale sat down in the nearest chair for a moment and tried to collect himself as everything he’d thought he’d known about the situation had been turned on its head. Eventually he looked over at Crowley again who was still coiled tightly atop the rock.

“Why then after all this time, why has this happened now?”

“I think the whole Armageddon thing triggered it. You know end of the world needing it to be re-populated, reborn as it were. It’s instinct really,” she explained, as Aziraphale came close and leaned over the tank.

“You’ve never told me this form is female,” he said after a moment.

“You’ve never asked.”

Crowley’s tone was sharp and Aziraphale leaned back, deflated. Crowley looked away from him, ashamed.

“Sorry, tetchy just…they’re getting heavy.”

Aziraphale then gently reached into her tank, running his hand along her scales. Now that he knew what was really happening the bulge in her middle seemed glaringly obvious. The scales stretched to see the skin between them, she was probably due any day now. No wondered she had coveted the heat. She was acting exactly as the books said she should, storing warmth for her children.

“You’re going to be a mother, Crowley,” he said softly, his eyes glistening.

Crowley nudged her belly with her snout warmly.

“I know.”

“Is there anything you need?”

She looked at him with a questioning gaze.

“I did say I’d watch over you after all.”

“Thanks, Angel.”

***

Night had fallen over the city of London and most had begun to get ready for bed and think about the upcoming work week. In a bookshop in Soho though the lights still burned bright as Aziraphale was researching endangered species of snakes for where they might have to travel to, to release them.

He’d just set down an encyclopedia and was thinking about making tea when he heard a hissy cry from behind him.

In an instant he was pressed against the tank, anxiously. “Crowley, what’s wrong?”

“It’s time.”

“Oh, oh goodness what do you need? Towels? Hot water? How’s the temperature, the humidity?”

“It’s all good, Angel, but…could you read to me? I find it relaxing.”

“Of course.”

He set up his chair beside the nest, along with one of his thicker volumes and began.

He went chapter by chapter as her labour continued. Through it all Crowley said nothing, there was just the occasional jerk of coils, allowing a brief glimpse of the growing pile of leathery white eggs underneath.

In the very early morning Crowley at last stilled, her tongue flickering out slowly.

“Are you all right, Crowley?”

“Tired, bit thirsty.”

It turned out to be more than a bit as Aziraphale held the bowl close for her and she nearly drained it dry.

“Can I get you food?”

“Not yet they need to hatch and be on their own first.”

“How long before they hatch?”

“Dunno, the last time it happened right away. Time before that was much longer. Might even depend on what kind of snake they are. I’ll watch over them after they hatch too, still keep them warm, make sure they’re ready for the world. That shouldn’t be more than two weeks.”

Aziraphale nodded. “After that we should go for a picnic. I’d invite you to the Ritz, but you’d probably eat their entire menu twice over.”

Crowley managed a hissy chuckle at that. She probably could.

“We could take them with us, be together before they go off, if you can keep them under control that is.”

Crowley nudged the pile fondly.

“My kids ‘course I can.”

She moved then, pushing her upper body out of the tank and slipped gently around her angel’s neck.

“Our kids really.”

Aziraphale nodded and as the city of London awoke they slept.

The End


End file.
